My Mom

I thought I had better say a little something about a very special woman in my life, who just happens to be my mother. She is the person who made me what I am today: strong. She went through so much with my father trying to give us the regular nuclear family. This was never to occur, my dad was a damaged child, to a damaged husband, and in the end a damaged father.

I always thought my mom was spectacular. She was an operating room technician, meaning she assisted the surgeons in the operating room. Back when she was a kid her mother found her a career, and she went on to work at hospital in Michigan. I am pretty sure it was Harper Hospital, her sister worked at Henry Ford's Hospital in Detroit. My Aunt brought my mother and father together, a fate I am sure she regretted over the years!

My mom Leona Olga Goralski, Aka Toni ( because her dad wanted a boy), was a knockout. Tiny little waist, big brown eyes, and long brown hair. She is much more though, she is one smart cookie with a personality to match. I know my dad loved her dearly, but just couldn't be a good husband, he lacked a lot of training in that department. My mom was young also, she also was not prepared for married life. They had three children right in a row: 1963, 1964, and 1965. I guess they didn't have a television in those years.

Even after the divorce from my dad she was gorgeous and re-married a man 10 years younger. She did this before Demi Moore made it acceptable, how is that for being before her time. She was there for me as a child, as she was for all of her children, always cooking great dinners and her soup, oh it was fantastic. When you live in cold weather, soup is a great warmer of the soul, both inside and out. When I moved out to California I missed my grandmother and my mom, those were a tough few years out here without them. I send for my mom to come out to California as much as she will let me. That is my payback for all that she has done for me in the past. I will never be able to repay her for helping me become what I am today. She taught me to stand on my own two feet, always have a career, and never need a man to survive. Luckily I never married a man like my father, and my mother just loves my husband. To every daughter out there, remember your mother works hard for you each and every day. Treat her like she is that best thing in your life, because she is.

My Sister: Amanda

I just got off the phone with my sister a few hours ago and she told me she had found my blog. Now how the heck she did that is a mystery to me. I have a hard enough time finding and logging on to my own blog! Every time I go back to this wondrous blog I always, and I swear this is true, I forget how to do things. Now if this is a sign of Alzheimer's disease, please someone call my doctor at Kaiser- Dr. Greg Bishago. I am still having a hard time with this B L O G, but heck who doesn't have a few hours to burn.

My little sister, Amanda, found that I had posted her as one of the topics. She seemed suprised, but to me she is inspirational, of course she would be on my list of things to discuss. My sister, georgeous as she is, is still looking for happiness with love. I hope and pray she finds it, because I know she would make a wonderful wife & mother. Besides, I really want to be a Godmother someday, and I think little sis is my last chance. Amanda has traveled around the world, lived in other countries, and finds time to run marathons. I would have loved to travel , and however doubtful it would be, I would love to run a marathon. My bad back and knees take me out of the race though, but I know I could walk for miles. Walking for 20 some odd miles would take a very long time though and it gets a little cold at night, so maybe I could ride a bike, or scooter, or just pretend I did it. Which would never work because I do not like to lie, my motto- just tell the truth.

So if my sister is reading this right now, remember this: I love the hell out of you! You are beautiful both inside and out, you need a little direction every now, but then again who doesnt. I will see you soon for christmas, wish you were coming for Thanksgiving, but we will have a wonderful time during December. Remember to be strong, take baby steps when you need to , and always ( I mean this) call me if you need me! Without you I would be empty deep in my heart. To have a sister is to have a friend for life..........I am your biggest ( no fat joke intended), and best friend in the world, never forget that.

Grandaughters

Today I took some time off with my studying, today was a family day.

I called my daughter and told her to bring the girls over early so we could go out for lunch and do a little shopping. They, Lila and Ariana, arrived at my house ready to go. As soon as they saw me, they screamed GRANDMA, and ran into my arms. I have made the right decision today, and that was to give them my whole morning. I put all the books away, my notebooks, and study items, and spent a wondrous day out with two of my most loved little girls in the world-my granddaughters.

We started at Chuck-E-Cheese, arriving at 9:15 am. They were wiggling in their car seats, consumed with excitement to get into the building. I took Lila, and my daughter Erika brought in Ariana, all together we got our hands stamped and entered into the Cheese zone. Here in Moreno Valley they had expanded and remodeled the whole place inside, new machines, more seats, and enlarged the children's area. They were in heaven. We walked in, ordered our regular large pizza, 4 drinks 2 which are in special Chuckie cups, and one all-you-can-eat salad. Then comes the greatest gift for these two overexcited granddaughters-tokens !!! We spent the next two hours riding horses, inside the princess carriage, and eating pizza. There was also lots of laughing and playing. It also gives my daughter a break, she can now talk to another adult for awhile. My daughter is a stay-at-home mom right now, and I think she needs a little break every now and then, so we sit and talk.

Then came our shopping time, so to Target we went! We went down almost every aisle and looked at anything they wanted to. We stopped in the shoe department, of course they both got new shoes. Then on to the movies, where once again we bought the new movie out this week-Tinker Bell. We ended the shopping excursion in the craft area, where we were able to find 3 Halloween crafts for Lila, Ariana, and Charisma.

We are in the check-out, when the inevitable occurs..........crankiness. The girls are now tired, I have over done it, time for them to head home. We leave Target and head for my house, and here we rearrange our packages to theirs and mine. What a nice morning it was, but the great thing about the visit: They go home! God I love grandchildren. You get to take them out, give them candy (within reason), and send them home.

Time spent with your family: priceless.

Being a Mom

Thursday night my two youngest children came home with a suprise.......fabric. They were going to make two costumes for themselves, with each bundle of fabric they were holding. I asked them just how they were going to do this, and they causually replied they were going to use saftey pins. "Hmmmmmmmmm," was my initial reasponse, to which they both just laughed.

Now I have not used my sewing machine in several years. Each halloween when my children were younger I made them all costumes. I made mummies, witches, dragons, princesses, and so many more that I cannot even remember. I had three children, and each would be made into whatever they desired to be, I held never held back. I have to admit though, those costumes where much smaller. My two boys are now 16 and 20 years old, that's a lot of fabric to be pushing through a machine. So I looked them straight in the eye and asked just what were they planning to be this year? The answers were scarey:

1.) a scarecrow with a horror element washed in

2.) A yetti

The fabric my oldest son, Nick, had a burlap type, that was itchy, hard to handle, and cut and held with, you got it, safety pins! I know I can do this for him, but when does he need it by? Big smile comes to his face and he tells me by tomorrow. OH GOD!! So I lay him on the fabric, cut out a pattern, and sew for almost three hours until we are finished. I was amazed at how good the finished product was after they added some paint, webbing, mask, and a rat on the hat.

The fabric my youngest son Alex had was no better! I had flying white fuzz all over the kitchen with every cut of the fabric I made. He informs me that he would like a full body suit of a yetti. What the heck is a yetti is my first question, to which he shows me on google, to which I turn white as a ghost. He has to be kidding, I am tired now, but he gives me a little hug and a smile. How can I turn him down. I am rolling though now, I had the sewing maching humming along, and in no time (1 1/2 hrs) we have a finished product. He puts the outfit on and thanks be to the halloween gods above--it fit. My husband helps with the head piece and on it goes, its not what I had planned, but what the heck it fits his head and he likes it.

My boys are ready for this years halloween celebration and making their costumes was a trip down memory lane. We were all in the kitchen working to finish the product, laughing, and talking about the good old days. I have to say this was one of the best thursdays I have had in a very long time. Spending time with your children is wonderful when they get older and choose you over their buddies.

Halloween

I went to the Riverside Ghost Walk last night, and we stayed until after 11:00. This was the first time my family and I had ever done such a thing. My husband treated us to the VIP tour so that we were able to walk into the catacombs under the Mission Inn. It was to support the California Riverside Ballet, and we were able to experience something new!

The one thing I like about being older, although not too pleased about looking worse for the wear, we are able to do anything we want. The kids are older, and we no longer have to worry about babysitters! So we started our night with Hor'dourves, a large glass of white wine, and people we had just met whom were also taking the tour. The room was decorated in a Halloween theme, music played in the background, and conversation flowed around the table.

I have never really been into watching a ballet, but then again I have never attended one either. So this night was an experience for us all. The tour started at 8:20 and we proceeded to walk to an older hotel, and there we were treated to the first ballet dance. Those little girls were pretty good! The music featured the ghoulish voice of Vincent Price and ended with Micheal Jackson's "Thriller." The chandeliers were swaying overhead, with smoke bellowing up and through them. The scene was spectacular. We then proceeded to a nearby church to watch a rendition of "Interview with a Vampire," and once again the show was very good, with wonderful dancing and acting.

Then it was getting late, and I kept looking at my watch. I keep thinking about my class in the morning, and how bad my feet were hurting. We still had not made it to the catacombs and I started to feel a little cranky! I was ready for bed. I forged onward to the next building, this time though, I was not all smiles. I felt the pain of getting up for work that morning at 4:30. My husband offered to take me home, but I wanted to see those darn tunnels under the Mission Inn!

Finally we walked into the Mission Inn and down the stairs to the basement. There was a wedding that night, so the Halloween music switched to typical wedding melodies with people dancing their harts out. We lined up along the wall, and waited anxiously to enter.

Finally we entered. God, it was so nice and cool down there. There are so many rumors about why the catacombs are there, but the true reason is they were made for the hotel as a marketing strategy. There was also a show down in the catacombs, and the acoustics made the girls screams echo throughout the basement! Was the tour worth the money? Yes, I think the kids did a great job, the tour was a little (very) long, and maybe we should have taken the first tour of the night, but all in all it was great. It was a wonderful way to spend a Friday night!

learning

I was asked today if I was learning anything in my English class-it blew my mind! I am learning so much in this class I have been blown away. This is my first English class in so many years, so every time I come to class I learn. Really I think sometimes I was placed in the wrong class, because I don't know if I never learned these things, or perhaps it was so long ago I do not remember! Either way, I am glad to be retaught the importance of a sentence.

A sentence: subject + verb. Such a little thing, but so hard to remember!!

I must say that learning in this class has been wonderful. Taking two classes at once and working is hard. I feel for the women in this class, and I am sure some men also, who really do not have the time to come in to English class every Saturday. I know that it takes so much determination to push yourself into something that tips the scale ever so lightly into pure pandemonium. It takes up so much of your time to enroll in a class, but the end result is so wonderful. Your education can give you so much in return, such as a better job, pride, and a feeling of accomplishment. To each and everyone of my classmates I give them a pat on the back for being there. I know its tough, but it is soooooooooooooo worth it!

I am rereading my essay from the remembered event, I should have gone back to the writing center one more time. I made some really stupid mistakes. My goal now is to watch the tenses, I have learned that when I was younger I did not care about writing, so I failed to learn so much. This time around, learning means so much to me. Maybe we should have kids work when they are young, and as they get older, give them an education. I know there are young people out there who are good in school, but I was not one of them. Too bad there is not a re-do on high school. I would so kick some arse now!

Death of a Parent

My dad just passed away this May after a long battle with Kidney disease. The one thing that I didn't expect was the actions of my older brother Rick. He believes that being the eldest son, he has the right to inherit everything. I know that I am half Hispanic, but this is not the way we were brought up. I grew up baseball, hot dogs, and apple pie. I was never raised in a traditional Hispanic household, and today that is not how you divide assets of your family. I am not too sure which ethnic groups give everything to the oldest son anymore, but it just sounds so archaic.

I just received a letter from my brothers attorney inquiring if I am going to give up coins that he gave to my son while visiting a few months before he died. I put the letter away and have not read it, my husband did, and he told me not to even look at it. He laughed because they are awaiting my response, but didn't include a self-addressed stamped envelope back to them. What is this world coming to? Your own brother sues you for something given to your child.

My family dynamics are pretty crazy. I had not seen my dad for almost twenty years before I entered back into his life. He was sick with kidney disease and had just had a stroke. He wasn't doing well and my children begged for me to bring him to our house, they asked me to forgive him for all his past digressions. How could I not agree with my children, the man was my father, and he was sick. Forgiveness is what I always advise my children to do, then I must lead by example. I brought my dad out for a month, took him to dialysis every other day, and picked him up and cared for him. This started in 2004 and my dad died May 2008. I was lucky to have those last over four years to have a good relationship with my father.

My brother on the other hand was angry. He thought I was taking my dad from him, like my dad was a possessions, or piece of meat. What turmoil occurred with my brother was amazing. He felt that because he spent so many years with my dad that he should be compensated somehow. The repayment is what he is after now. My father and I didn't get along because he was so abusive. My dad could have been the poster boy for battered women and child abuse. Later when we talked about what happened he told me that is what he learned from his dad. Just like they say, abuse is a repeated cycle. I couldn't be Charles Atlas any longer-it was just to heavy to carry. So I forgave him and we became close. My brother feels that I waited too long, and that I should have nothing.

The thing that bothers me the most is I never took anything from my dad while he was alive. If he sent money I would give it to my children. I felt funny taking money from him, I wanted him to know that I didn't need a payoff, I forgave him without any strings. My brother on the other hand always asked for things: down payment for a house, money for activities, and to pay for all the meals. I didn't feel comfortable with that and I didn't know if he had enough money to pay everything. I wasn't sure how much money my dad had, and I never asked.

Just before my dad died my younger brother Kevin became his power of attorney(POA) after my dad had a kidney transplant. I told my dad that if anything happened to him while he was in the hospital who would care for his finances, and that he needed someone to protect him. My father asked me to become POA, but I declined, my older brother thought I was taking over too much as it was. My younger brother Kevin was a sweetheart, he helped my dad pay his mortgage while my dad's accounts got straigtened out. My dad also put my little brother down as POD. What is POD? If you have ever been in banking then you know, but for those of you who do not, it means "payable upon death." It does not enter probate either, after death it goes to that person. What a mess that caused! Our older brother wants that also, or at least his share.

You can look at my post and think why not just give him some, but I must complete the story with an ending. While my dad went to have tranplant surgery my older brother was in Iraq, he was a medic, luckily he wasn't out in the field very much. He gave vaccinations and helped on base because of his rank. I emailed my brother and told him that my dad was not doing well after the surgery and to please come home. He told me he would if I contacted the Red Cross and had them set it up. Luckily my dad was taken off the critical list, but he stayed in the hospital. My brother was given the option of coming home to see his father, but would have to use his own time. My brother declined. He went to the Domician Republic with his new wife to celebrate their honeymoon. Please let me say that my brother and his wife had lived together for several years, she only agreed to marry him when he went overseas and she could then get benefits. He told dad that he would come and see him when he got out of the military in September. That never occured, my dad died May 19th at 4:00 a.m. He had not seen my dad since 2006.

I don't know all the answers in life, but I do know that if your parent is dying - you come to them. How will this end? God I really do not know. It causes stress to everyone. My younger brother Kevin also is being sent letters from the attorney. All I can say to this whole mess, please stress to your parents get a living trust and put it in writing. I flew to Michigan twice to get my father to set up a will, but he declined. I even told him to put everything in my brother Rick's name- again he wouldn't. What was my dad doing? I really do not know. I think deep down inside he never thought he was going to die. That is the problem the complete cycle of life ends with death.

October is Flu Shot Month

Everyone loves October, the weather changes and people start to drag out their Holloween decorations. For the people in the medical field, October means one thing - flu shots. The phone starts to ring off the wall, and the question on patients minds is: When can I get my flu shot ? The question on the medical personnel minds is: should I get the shot? The best thing to do before you get the flu vaccination is to become informed.

The question I wanted to know about was: what does the flu vacination cover and what is in those tiny viles that they inject into you? Here is some information from the CDC on who, where, and when to get the vaccination:

The single best way to protect against the flu is to get vaccinated each year.
There are two types of vaccines:
1.) The "flu shot"— an inactivated vaccine (containing killed virus) that is given with a needle, usually in the arm. The flu shot is approved for use in people older than 6 months, including healthy people and people with chronic medical conditions.
2.) The nasal-spray flu vaccine — a vaccine made with live, weakened flu viruses that do not cause the flu (sometimes called LAIV for “live attenuated influenza vaccine” or FluMist®). LAIV (FluMist®) is approved for use in healthy* people 2-49 years of age who are not pregnant.

Each vaccine contains three influenza viruses-one A (H3N2) virus, one A (H1N1) virus, and one B virus. The viruses in the vaccine change each year based on international surveillance and scientists' estimations about which types and strains of viruses will circulate in a given year.
About 2 weeks after vaccination, antibodies that provide protection against influenza virus infection develop in the body.

When to Get Vaccinated:
Yearly flu vaccination should begin in September or as soon as vaccine is available and continue throughout the influenza season, into December, January, and beyond. This is because the timing and duration of influenza seasons vary. While influenza outbreaks can happen as early as October, most of the time influenza activity peaks in January or later.

Who Should Get Vaccinated:
In general, anyone who wants to reduce their chances of getting the flu can get vaccinated. However, it is recommended by ACIP that certain people should get vaccinated each year. They are either people who are at high risk of having serious flu complications or people who live with or care for those at high risk for serious complications. During flu seasons when vaccine supplies are limited or delayed, ACIP makes recommendations regarding priority groups for vaccination.
People who should get vaccinated each year are:
1.) Children aged 6 months up to their 19th birthday
2.) Pregnant women
3.) People 50 years of age and older
4.) People of any age with certain chronic medical conditions
5.) People who live in nursing homes and other long-term care facilities
6.) People who live with or care for those at high risk for complications from flu, including:
a. Health care workers
b. Household contacts of persons at high risk for complications from the fluc. Household contacts and out of home caregivers of children less than 6 months of age (these children are too young to be vaccinated)

Use of the Nasal Spray Flu Vaccine
It should be noted that vaccination with the nasal-spray flu vaccine is always an option for healthy* people 2-49 years of age who are not pregnant.

Who Should Not Be Vaccinated:
There are some people who should not be vaccinated without first consulting a physician. These include:
1.) People who have a severe allergy to chicken eggs.
2.) People who have had a severe reaction to an influenza vaccination.
3.) People who developed Guillain-Barré syndrome (GBS) within 6 weeks of getting an influenza vaccine.
4.) Children less than 6 months of age (influenza vaccine is not approved for this age group), and
People who have a moderate-to-severe illness with a fever (they should wait until they recover to get vaccinated.)

Vaccine Effectiveness:
The ability of flu vaccine to protect a person depends on the age and health status of the person getting the vaccine, and the similarity or "match" between the virus strains in the vaccine and those in circulation. Testing has shown that both the flu shot and the nasal-spray vaccine are effective at preventing the flu.

Vaccine Side Effects (What to Expect):
Different side effects can be associated with the flu shot and LAIV.
The flu shot: The viruses in the flu shot are killed (inactivated), so you cannot get the flu from a flu shot.
Some minor side effects that could occur are:
Soreness, redness, or swelling where the shot was given
Fever (low grade)
Aches
If these problems occur, they begin soon after the shot and usually last 1 to 2 days. Almost all people who receive influenza vaccine have no serious problems from it. However, on rare occasions, flu vaccination can cause serious problems, such as severe allergic reactions. As of July 1, 2005, people who think that they have been injured by the flu shot can file a claim for compensation from the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP).
LAIV (FluMist®): The viruses in the nasal-spray vaccine are weakened and do not cause severe symptoms often associated with influenza illness. (In clinical studies, transmission of vaccine viruses to close contacts has occurred only rarely.)

In children, side effects from LAIV (FluMist®) can include:
1.) runny nose
2.) wheezing
3.) headache
4.) vomiting
5.) muscle aches
6.) fever

In adults, side effects from LAIV (FluMist®) can include
1.) runny nose
2.) headache
3.) sore throat
4.) cough
More Information

Flu Shot : Vaccination Information Statement (VIS)
Nasal Spray : Vaccination Information Statement (VIS)
* "Healthy" indicates persons who do not have an underlying medical condition that predisposes them to influenza complications.
Page last reviewed -->
Page last updated July 16, 2008
Content Source: Coordinating Center for Infectious Diseases (CCID)
National Center for Immunization and Respiratory Diseases (NCIRD)

As a final note I will say that I did get the flu vaccination. I received my first vaccination in 2004 when I started to work in the medical field. I also have had influenza in the past, aquiring it in 1996 while working at the CHP. I can say that influenza was the worst illness I have ever had. The symptoms that I felt were horrible, I knew this was something worse than the flu. I had the chills right down into my bones, so bad that I could not move. My children were young then and tried to care for me while my husband was at work. I actually had them call my work to have someone come and help me, they called my husband, who came home and took me to the emergency room (ER). I could barely move and cried all the way to the hospital. What an experiance, they took one look at me and gave me an injection. I do not even know what they gave me, but I am sure it was an antibiotic of some type- all I knew was that I was safge in the hands of a doctor and not two young children. The ER doctor told my husband he was lucky to have brought me in to the hospital, that annually 10,000 - 40,000 die a year from influenza. We were shocked!

Should you get the vaccination is a question you should ask your primary care physician. I work in the internal medicine department at Beaver Medical Clinic and have seen patients already getting very sick this year with pneumonia and colds. I think possibly this year we are going to be hit very bad with the virus, so please take care of yourself, wash your hands, and if your a candidate look at the options of being vaccinated.